Don't Be This Guy!

This picture of me was taken in September 2001 after Al's Memorial Run in Milwaukee. I don't recall much about the race other than I was in lousy shape and that the local breweries did not disappoint when I visited the beer tent afterwards.

What does stand out is that this was about year four of my wandering down a poorly chosen fitness path framed by several bad narratives. One being that no matter what I ate or drank, I could simply "burn it off" with a 3-mile run the following day. Another had me surrendered to the notion that increasing weight was just part of entering middle age. An even more depressing narrative was that my best years were behind me. Once I bought into that, it was that much easier to accept poor lifestyle habits. It was down this dismal path that I wandered for rest of that decade and part of the next, while liking myself less and less with each successive year.

The breaking point occurred in the summer of 2013 when I saw a picture of myself taken at a recent office party. I was the fifty-something guy who now needed to wear his shirt untucked to hide his gut. That appalling image pushed me to finally confront those false narratives by committing to exercise and diet. That meant running before work each day in the early morning along with huge changes in my diet, including what I ate, how much and when.

Checking my bathroom scale became a morning ritual. To my pleasant surprise, 10 pounds vanished in the first few weeks. That told me to keep doing what I was doing. I had lost over 25 pounds by the time I moved to Des Moines in early 2014. While losing weight had been the initial goal, an unanticipated benefit from this more disciplined lifestyle was how it spilled over into my professional world. Although organization has always been a strength for me, I was now even more efficient with my time and work. That and running became much more comfortable and enjoyable.

A final, crucial component occurred when a friend talked me into doing the Run for the Roses 10K in October 2017. Prior to that event, I had participated in only a small number of races over the years, with each providing varying degrees of embarrassment. But now, my conditioning allowed me to actually compete. For the first time since the early 90's, I felt those same sensations I experience in a race. It like rediscovering an essential part of myself that had been missing for far too long. When I heard my name called out afterwards to receive a medal, I felt a pride that I hadn't known since my early 30's. It was a pride I was determined to maintain.

That motivation has grown even stronger. Thanks to several skilled people, I’ve refined my training to improve both my running and health. I’ve absolutely zero desire to risk losing any of what I’ve gained since 2013. That said, I also have to be honest. Doing this is not easy. It can include some harsh costs and tough decisions that are not always easy to make as they can impact family and friends.

When I started down this road, I had no idea what I wanted to accomplish beyond shedding some pounds. Reflecting back on it and wondering how I would do it differently if I were to venture down this path again, I'd consider the following guidelines. All of which are important and interconnected.

• Decide What You Want to Accomplish. Think about where you want to be in one month. Six months. One year. Two years. And so on. That doesn’t have to include running in the Boston Marathon. It could be as simple and healthy as enjoying a long walk with your spouse every day. Realize that this can and will likely change with time as more doors in your life open that you didn't previously consider.

• Discard False Narratives and Excuses. You can always find plenty of reasons why you can't do something. Once you move past them, you'll be delighted at how much you can actually accomplish.

• Make It Doable. While pushing false narratives aside is essential, so too is being realistic and patient. For example, my running started with around 7 miles per week before moving to 14 miles and so on. Take it one step at a time.

• Find A Way to Maintain a Balance in Your Life. This is the most difficult part. As important as our goals are, so too are the relationships we have with family and friends. How we balance that without creating issues will require clear and constant communication. We have to determine when to give and not to give. One extreme could risk alienating the people in your life. But the other could negate the gains that you make. This will be a continual challenge and likely vary with each situation. But the outcome makes this all worthwhile.

It goes without saying that all of this is worth everything I've done to reach this point. I’m healthy and enjoy running more than ever. I don’t remember my PR’s from college and frankly, that’s okay. I prefer focusing my attention on today and tomorrow. When I compare this picture to the previous one from 21 years ago, my immediate thought is that I don't want to go back to who I was then (although I wouldn't mind fewer wrinkles and less gray hair). I now savor each day and look forward to the next. I'm grateful to all my friends and family, including those I've gained on this journey. That definitely includes my wife, Amy!

On a final note, I know of a number of runners with deeply inspiring stories of their journeys through life with fitness. Those accounts provide motivation for me as well. Let me know your thoughts on this either in the comments below or on FB.